a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
