the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize