i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
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