you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
