I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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