I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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