i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
