I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
