god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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