in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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