He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
