420 ftw
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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