So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We had to coat check the pizza.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize