Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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