i don't like sucking hair
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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