how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
