I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize