$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
