this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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