none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
