hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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