it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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