Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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