I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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