Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
