Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
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