I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
