Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
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