I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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