dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
