I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
wow bdsm is so cute
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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