Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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