Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Nicole vs. Life
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
