Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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