Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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