if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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