I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
