what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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