i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Alive.
So much puke
the liver wants what the liver wants
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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