When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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