I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
