dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
