porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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