He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
