READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
