i'm lost and i look like a hooker
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
