I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
