idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize