Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
