He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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