yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
