turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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