I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
