let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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