SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
