Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The air was thick with penises
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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