I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
We had sex on a dog bed..
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize