I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
