I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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