I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
