AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
