no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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