I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
