yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
