I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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