He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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