scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Randomize
