Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
