I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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